uhhuh It's like an itch.
It's like an itch.

My mind is filled with nothing but static and smoke.
------------------------
Post-game Miles Upshur from the game Outlast.

(Open universe and Multiship friendly!)

soldierwithnosoul:

Nothing is okay

Everything is horrible

I’m going to die alone

And I’ll never find true happiness

"No one gives a shit about you unless you’re lying on the floor dead."

ic

log

Journal entry: Unknown #

"I can’t even get out of my room because I might see him out there."

"I’m afraid if he sees me, he’s going to yell at me, or say something behind my back."

"…I doubt he would actually do that, but my stupid anxiety still causes me to stay away."

ichorprince:

 

Day rolled the prescription bottle in their hands, searching for his dose. It was probably too late to give it now, too close to his next dose, but… yeah, they were probably going to offer it out in the morning. There’s no way they’d give him the bottle to take it himself at any point.

Not until they got to talk to a doctor.

"It ain’t too hard to take meds… jus’ get some water n’ gulp it down," they muttered before shoving the bottle into their hoodie pocket and speaking up. This time, about his nightmares.

"Nightmares don’t help, yeah, n’ I wouldn’t be surprised if your meds gave you insomnia as well. Do you think it’d help if I was in here with you? Or if— or, um, too— if I got somethin’ that helped you?"

"— I mean, if anything helps in the first place?"

He thinks about Day’s question for a few seconds. He hasn’t had company in weeks, so maybe it would help if someone stayed around for a little while. And a thing that would help… Well, he really likes chamomile tea. It helps him calm down, but again, he hasn’t had it in a long time. He’s afraid that he might sound needy, though.

"Would it be okay if you stayed for the night? If…That’s okay with you."

It felt really awkward saying that, so awkward that he actually felt a little embarassed…And a bit anxious. He doesn’t know how Day will react to the question. It just didn’t sound right for some reason.

When all of the nervous thoughts were dying down, he then noticed that it got unbearingly quiet in the room, so he pretends to cough to break the heavy silence. Great. Now he feels like he’s bothering him. He should’ve stayed quiet.

Track: Medicine
Artist: Hollywood Undead
Album: Notes From the Underground
Plays: 2,737

hoodasfuck:

Hollywood Undead - Medicine

ichorprince:

 

Day, hearing his reply (which was actually pretty rude and maybe a bit insensitive, taking into mind they rushed their as quickly as possible), let out a huffy breath of air. It almost sounded like words— something along the lines of how he shouldn’t care so much about a fucking door— but maybe that was just their normal breathing. Who knows?

While exhaustion weighed them down, they shuffled forward to swipe Miles’ bottle of Paxil off the table. The last thing that Miles had to do right now was be in charge of his own meds, Jesus Christ. No— if anything, it was going to be in someone else’s hands from here on out. If they had a say, of course.

"Y’di’nt’ do anythin’, did ya’? And—" They twisted the bottle in their hands, looking for this prescribed dose. "— did you take any of your meds today?"

When Day suddenly walked over and grabbed the medication, he wanted to say something in protest, but he decided to stay quiet. Day must’ve been already a little upset because of the comment about the door. He thought to himself that maybe it was better that he had hold of the medication, because Miles still kind of had the thought of suicide on his mind. When he hears Day ask about the medication, he mumbled his reply.

"I haven’t taken it yet. I normally have to take it earlier in the day, but I guess today I didn’t have much energy to. Staying up almost all night causes a toll on you. Damn nightmares giving me insomnia." He sighs and pauses for a second before saying,

"…Fucking nightmares. I’m tired of having them almost every night. It’s almost always about the same damn thing, too. I barely have any dreamless nights, so It’s hard for me to try to at least have a break from them. And when I wake up from one, I end up staying awake from hours on end." He decides to jokingly add in, "The only good thing about it is that I mostly just sleep through the day, so I at least don’t have to go through a another whole day of self loathing and angst."

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